The Male Ego and Self Esteem – Today our topic on Real Alpha Mag is slightly more interesting. Something that few men will wish to bring up but are very full aware that it is and can be one of the key issues in their life.
The Male Ego is ever present, ever so pertinent, ever so tough to work on and counter. For most men in this world, there is this pride in believing in your own dreams and goals and you will work towards it and with every success the ego builds up to make you feel unbeatable. But with unchecked successes, there comes a time where a failure will either break you or you will break yourself along the way.
There’s a saying that goes, ” A mistake which makes you humble is much better than an achievement that makes you arrogant. “. For successful men who has walked the earth for many years having success in school, with woman, with money but end up miserable in their middle age. They probably have not tasted a downfall or failure in any forms that has hit them hard enough to realize that they themselves are the reason for the downfall and crash. The build up may have started many years ago and everything else that has happened was just an end to the show that took many years to play through.
The Big Facade you create for the world
Materialism and narcissism seems to be the theme for many movies and life stories in this new era. Capitalism has made people want to buy more, purchase more things that they don’t need. Buy luxury goods that they don’t really identify or bother about other than for the rest of the world to see.
The Male Ego can make you want to stand out and show the world that you are better than the rest. You make more money! You have more woman by your side! You drive a nice sports car! You have tons of cash on the table! (common on Instagram nowadays)
All this is nothing but just a facade that you build to feed that ego within you that was oversize either because of young achievements and success or you not having any real achievements that you are proud of yourself. Whichever it is, facades will one day have to come off and for some, in drastically traumatic manners.
Oversize Big Ego as a sign of Low Self-Esteem
More common than not, the big ego that is way beyond your actual accomplishments might be a sign of low self-esteem within yourself. Low Self-Esteem usually comes about from having failures early on in life. Something that you did not recognize as an issue but psychologically you have been carrying the burden with you.
Most people will not know that they have an issue because your mind will not allow you to see it. Childhood or teen-hood trauma usually has a way of masking itself behind manner forms of unhealthy behaviors and mindsets.
To overcome this low Self-Esteem issue. Some people end up building up a big ego to show the world that you are doing well, in fact better than them. Social Media Platforms such as Instagram become the best vehicle for such oversharing and with high like counts, translating into
Figuring out the need for the big ego
The best thing about being someone more awaken either through meditation or through therapy, you will be able to figure that you actually do have an Ego issue. When you figure that you have an ego issue, then you have to figure out how to work on it. What is causing the need of this ego?
Most of the time the over-sized ego is a low self-esteem. Sometimes it is just having something to prove to the world. Sometimes its just pride. You have to figure out what drives it that way. It’s not saying that you can’t have a big ego but having one that is way above your achievements is something that can be disturbing to people around you.
The fact is people with a big ego may not even see it themselves. They might not be able to identify this before it blows up in your face.
” A mistake which makes you humble is much better than an achievement that makes you arrogant. ”
Identifying the Self Esteem Issues
Coming back to the self esteem issues that one have that causes one to need a big ego. The self esteem of a person might have been unhealthy since a young age. You might have failed in something from 6 years old and it snow balled all the way till your adult hood.
There are many reasons for a low self esteem and leading to a need to build an ego to protect yourself. But end of the day, most people do not even realize they have a major issue because they do not see it as a major human issue when it comes to living your life. Some people might say you have too big an ego and you probably will brush it off. The problem with ego and also with success is that it keeps growing and growing to the point where you think you are basically unstoppable. You are invincible in the eyes of yourself. You will start getting reckless and start doing things that are either illegal, borderline illegal or just socially unacceptable.
Ego starts to take over you and your identity and it will end only when something truly traumatic wakes the F*ck out of you. Yes something traumatic, either a divorce with someone you truly loved deeply, losing a close family member, losing a dear friend who never gave up on your but eventually did, losing the reputation that meant the most to you and your world.
Only then will you realize, all that fake reality you build around you as a bubble to protect that soft ego you had in you was just, fake.
This comes to the point where self love and care helps you to become healthy again.
Self Love and Self Esteem Building
When you lose everything, you start to realize, you actually need nothing. Most people do not realize the fact that you do not need a lot of money to survive. You do not need a big house to be happy. You do not need a girlfriend or a wife to be happy. You just need you.
Yes having more money is definitely better than having less. Having someone to love is sometimes better than not having one. But if you do not have a self love, you do not know what makes you truly happy and satisfied, you do not know how to love the very person that you can depend on which is you. You will never find true enjoyment and happiness no matter what you achieve in life.
Speaking to yourself through quiet time, meditation and deep thinking is one of the best ways to really learn to ask yourself what you really want in life. What do you want to achieve and find enjoyment in.
Only then will your self esteem grow and become a healthy individual and in this case, a healthy men. Instead of letting the fake ego grow, be who you are and let yourself be nurtured to full health.
Becoming whole as a man & be capable of True Love
The journey of life is to becoming the best version of yourself. Finding the best version and working towards it is one of the best things one can do to achieve the goals you want in life. If you truly love someone, do what makes them happy, give them the space they need. Care for them from the side and become the man you are meant to be.
Work on yourself all the time and keep improving who you are. There are so much to love and life and you know that very well.
Only when you are ready for the world yourself will you be ready for the love of your life
The Male Ego and Self Esteem
